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Pardons & Hot Pickles…

Back in the summer of ’00, when Big Bubba Clinton was wrapping up his quasi-Republican two terms in la Casa Blanca, I filed a commutation/pardon request with the Justice Depts’ Office of the Pardons Atty.

How much are we gonna take?

I didn’t really expect a positive result.  But as I was already helping put together one for my cellmate at the time, Peter MacDonald, former Chief of the Navajo Nation, friends urged me to also put one in for myself.

Pete had resisted applying for several years despite the support and urging of his Nation and a number of interested political figures as disparate as Barry Goldwater (deceased in ’98) and Jimmy Carter.

   Aside from denying any criminal role in the “reservation” uprising, he also argued that the US Gov’t had no jurisdiction in the first place.  As a matter of sovereign Treaty and even US law, he was correct…not that that ever bothered the US gov’t.

   I created a statement for Pete that paralleled that of Richard Nixon…one that neatly skirted any mea culpas (as required).  In any event, Pete was indeed one of those whose sentence was commuted (and the Democrats thus garnered the New Mexico vote in the following election).

A year later, with no subsequent response in my own case (and with the ex-fratboy drunk  having been [s]elected to the White House by the US Supreme Court’s Gang of Five despite the vote otherwise), I wrote back to the Pardons Attorney for a disposition.

I was dutifully called into the Team office at FCI McKean, PA (where Wesley Snipes is to report on Dec 9th to do 3 yrs on his bullshit tax case).  I was told that they had received a communication from the Justice Dept (which I already knew about because it had been accidentally delivered to me by the morons in the mailroom, and which, after making a copy, I forwarded to the Team).

They were instructed to advise me how to be patient.  When the Justice Dept. arrives at a decision, I will be so informed.

*     *     *

   I notice in the news today (Sat. Dec. 4th) that President Obama, after almost two yrs in office, has issued his first pardons.  He just barely beat out the war-criminal, frat-rat in waiting almost two yrs.  He approved of nine, while denying a total of 1288.

   Three of the nine had served time from 30-days to two yrs.  The other six never served any time, other than probation.  Four of the cases were for coke (with significant “cooperation,” of course), and the others ranged from liquor violations, false statements to the FDA, and mutilating coins.  They all go back to cases from 11-to-50 yrs ago.

Perhaps in two more yrs he can get around to the real serious stuff, like Hi-Batry:  Snatching shit from a flying goose’s ass!  Or maybe we gotta wait the full 8 yrs for that biggie…  Maybe if he bends over a little further trying to appease the right and Tea Bagger whackos, he can get it all down his throat…and ours.

*     *     *

   Oh yeah…about my own request?  Let’s see, I put that in back in August of 2000.  It’s now December of 2010.  I’m still waiting…patiently…

               Dr. Publico

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