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Holy Jesus… What the…?

It never ceases to amaze me what people will believe…WitchHunt

I mean, think about it! Corporatist klanners (the Tea Party) are shocked that their “non-profit” fronts have been targeted for investigation by the IRS for illicit political activity?

Their corporate-owned and operated “news” media lead the mob in witch-hunting this dastardly deed. Meanwhile, neo-liberals stifle their mirth behind a façade of investigating “the usual suspects.

Now com’n, let’s get real… I got a sense of humor at least as good as the next gullible fool, but what’s with this spring silliness? No Monica Lewinsky available?

Staying on point, one of my investigative comrades has discovered a rabbit hole into the Vatican Archives (at least as relevant as the flim-flam news these days that passes for second-term diversions from real politics: Corporate class war).

(Disclosure: I was a Criminal Defense Investigator [CDI] in Detroit for 17-yrs. As such, I lay claim to knowing at least as much as those manipulating the “news.”)

Of course, if one reads ALL of the available archives extant throughout the world’s Christian sects, such as the Copts of Egypt, some 12-to-16 million, they would find a variety of information not available in any one source…and certainly not the King James version of the “Bible.”

Anything that conflicted with the official Christian convention called for by the Roman Emperor Constantine, 325 years after Jesus, became heretical; unendorsed writings and subjects were stamped out…literally. Of course, some survived.

I can see why the Emperor Constantine wanted to “reform” the Church . There were many writings in conflict with the official state version. The real story is somewhat less…shall we say, dramatic.

One very real problem that Ol’ Conny had was that most of his troops holding together the empire (like today) were volunteer mercs who had to be paid. There just wasn’t enough rip, rape and plunder to go around.

So, with his state-religion partners, they devised this hustle of awarding chits for a certain percentage of service “to Jesus” (in lieu of coin). These were redeemable in heaven after death. Neat scam, eh?

An earlier Canaanite version...

An earlier Canaanite version…

Mary (her name in Hebrew is Miryam) was raised by the Temple. Unwanted or unaffordable infants were abandoned at the Temple doorstep (usually with a donation included). They raised her.

Story tells that she a precocious child, well-developed and cute as all get-out.  Per usual practice, the Temple auctioned these kids off around puberty to member families for eventual marriage.

Yosef, an aged widowed contractor about 70, was both a devout member and relatively rich. Think of an early Donald Trump, only Joe actually worked…not simply manipulated people, finances and pimped out his kids.

Given Old Joe’s situation, he had no interest in a young bride. While required to attend the “auction,” he made no bids.

The priests chose an interesting gambit to get Joe and his $$ involved. They ruled to “let the Lord decide.” As all the eligible bachelors (including those widowed) were gathered in the Temple court awaiting the early Judaic version of “America’s Got Talent,” the priests handed out sheppard’s staffs to them and released a group of doves over the crowd.

The deal was, if a dove landed on a member’s staff he was then obliged to take home the prize (Mary) and not-so-incidentally pay the Temple 10% of his wealth. The early writers neglect to explain how the game was rigged.

When Old Joe took Mary home she was reported to be 12-yrs-old. While she was technically “betrothed,” he installed her in his household as a maid-trainee.

Soon, Joe and his boys went off to Lebanon on a contract to help build a winter retreat for some rich Roman dude…whatever. The only son he left behind was James, then about 15.

Now here the story gets a bit dicey. Certain early writers alleged that one of the younger maids, being jealous of Mary, went off and snitched her out to the Temple. It seems that Mary had got preggers and it was starting to show.

This being an offense (to both lovers) punishable by stoning to death, she was arrested. However, she stuck by her story that it was an immaculate conception (ain’t they all?) and that no earthly male was involved. Maybe Joe had a good lawyer.

And the future?

And the future?

Old Joe of course had rushed home (an easy boat ride down the coast) to deal with the problem. At first he was inclined to let the chips fall where they may, but he soon realized that James was the potential target of the investigation.

Joe had a dream “confirming” Mary’s version and, coughing up another 10% of his wealth (this girl was getting expensive) the Temple priests decided to “let the Lord sort it out.” The investigation was dropped. You see? American criminal justice isn’t all that unique.

Now maybe the official Church, a few hundred years later when they decided these things, kind of left that part out because—let’s face it–the story is just a wee bit too common and lends itself to secular interpretations.

And the point?  Maybe if you get people used to supernatural fantasies and believing routinely in miracles, etc., then they’ll accept the evil and chaos around them.

Maybe the corporate-klan Tea Party is the new Jerusalem? Maybe climate change is the result of divine providence? Maybe the accumulation of 99% of the wealth in the world by less than 1% of the population is “god given,” or worse, the natural order of things?

Maybe education, medical care, clothing, housing, food, clean air and water, democratic principles and social consciousness for others is all a mirage and actually the proper result of profit, privilege and power by money changers who rule the temples of life?

I mean…I don’t know everything….

Dr. Publico

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