If an archetype did not exist for a grown man twisted from the roots of shame, guilt and conservative hypocrisy, we might have to invent him. However, such is not the case; Richard John “Rick the Rooster” Santorum, 53, already exists.
Mitt Romney is a corporate zealot seeking to fill his father’s underpants. Newt Gingrich is an old-timey corrupt politician. Rick Perry is a frustrated Texan gaucho. Ron Paul is a racist-nativist cum faux-populist, and Michelle Bachmann is her own caricature of a female (circa the 18th century-or-so).